A Dog And The Effect Of Insomnia!

Disclaimer: Post scribbled out of sheer frustration and wakcho mind. May be fatal in some cases. Weak and restless are cautioned- The author holds no resposibility for the reader's fury and madness after reading the blog:

Its official- I'm a wretched Head! Yes Yes, Take a Bow , Take a Bow!( though a lot of you might have already deciphered it ages ago- self realization you see is the most satisfying of'em all!). What prompted such a enlightment you may ask!. a DOG- Yes a nimble 4 legged ( or maybe 2 legged and 2 hand-convertible legs! do dogs have hands? Damn!No wonder my biology teacher hated me) tounge swagging creature made me realize this eternal truth. OK now how you may ask?? for this though you need to go throught the following not-so-long-yet-so -long touture! So if you wish to oblige the creepy author, here it goes

Yesterday,Like most of the days i was in the night shift in my office ( this was a swap shift). The time of the night for normal sane humans was either that of sound sleep or a cozy movie time at home. Not for me though, at 12.30 i was scuttling across the broad way of my office complex. The night was still jawan ,thanks to the brightly lit beacon like lights. Still an hour to go before i finally call it a day(rather night!) i was feeling sleepy and extremely lunatic. Try doing a continuous 20 day night shifts and you'll realize what shit it feels like. Unable to bear a bloody headache, i decided a tea break was what i needed. Plugging my nokia N73 music edition into my ear canals, and crooning to the music of "Its My life" , i ventured out into the calm and serene night. outside the office, therez this chaiwala bhayya from assam. He boils some excellent tea which puts sense and spirit back into my withered soul. A few pints (read tea) and some "Osmaina Buiscuts" later, i was much better if not great - headache still rampant though. I sat at the car park just outside the gate. The music playing was "Summer Of 69" . How ironic i thought here i was pathetic state of mind and there our adams was singing ode of happiness and nostalgia!...
Ok enough of digressing, u might be wondering why the dog hasnt come yet! so let me retreat back on track.

Almost when i was leaving back to my pigeon-hole( cubicle) , i saw a this tail wagging creature staring at me. It was giving me a cynical stare. I felt like, given a chance for it to speak right at that moment, it might have said " They say Dog's life is pathetic of all- BUT HOW GOOD IS YOURS!!! how great are u leading you life in that shit hole of yours". Right at that moment Mind you, 22 years of ma existance seemed like crowshit! And there i was insulted by a DOG!!! furious and exasperated, i started blaring out verbal volleys at that thing. And then started the most interesting part The Conversation with a DOG !

Me: WTF do you think you are?A silly little legged creature,a bloody loathed living being??

Doggy: Forget about me, speak for your self. What use are you of except warming your seat every day and sulking back home?

Me: I have a great career( which after almost 2 years is going no where!), i have a life of comforts and leisure, a pay that fills up my pocket( which generally dry up by the first week always!), flanky office spaces and comfort living.. al in all i've got a bloody great LIFE!

Doggy: SO, thats it? u'r gonna get stuck here for the rest of your life? sulking like ever before and working up like insane ?
Me: Who said so, i am making my plans i'm gonna have fun, work hard and party harder . I'm planning to make ma life better and great!

Doggy: yea right! like u always have been "PLANNING" since ages right!

Thats it.. that final remark was the last nail in the coffin. My Big fat ego got punchured and that made me furious( aag babula types !) and breathing fire, i almost kicked the creature( all you PETA follwers, HANG ON!! i havent done any harm to it!) , there was a tap on the shoulder!

A watchman was right behind me and was telling me " Kya Hua sir aap aisa kyo dekh rahe hai us kutte ko? main bahut der se dekh raha hu aap usko gusse se dekh rahe hai!!"

I was shaken by that comment, i looked again in the same direction and saw the dog quite a few good meters away!!

Geezz! i was delirious! i was bloody hallucinating!! .. or was i venting out my dissapointments, or is it an effect of too many night shifts ??i do not know? nonetheless, visibily shaken after a rather cranky break, i returned back to ma pigeon-hole!! realizing that i am wretched in ma head!!
So heres me modifying the great Robert Forst's lines :

The office is sickening,dark and crap,

But I have SLA's and KPI's to keep,

Now that you are cuddling up to sleep,

Dont dare to smile at me You Creep! .

The Dog and the Effect of insomnia!


SO all of you who are cursing/scolding or wondering what did i write about here: the dog, me or my mundane work life, Mind you I am neither aware!! .. So if you want to catch ma head and bang it for coming up with this tourture, please read the disclaimer once more!!! i told u i'm a whako!!!



Thanks for coming this far if you have!

Any scoldings/emphaties/solidarity for mentally challenged author may be kindly directed into the "Comments Box".


may there be peace
rammy

The First Anniversary- Of Sorts!!!

Its 5.00 in the morning... I'm writing up a post with a post with happy title and DAZED pic!! Dont mistake me for severely crazy or sleep deprived maniac!! Today, February the 28th is the first anniversary of that incident that dazed me up. A shocking event....one of the biggest accidents i met with ....Errr..oh no.... or rather THE BIGGEST accident that "WE"( me and my best friend Glenn) had met with!...Wondering why reminiscing the gory incident?? Herez why!! Check out the hour-by-hour of what happened and how!

28th Feb,2008 8:00PM: It was the normal hot,humid and irritating chennai day/night ( well it dosent matter whether its day or night, winter or summer in chennai ... ITS ALWAYS BLOODY HOT!!!). After wrapping up for the day @ apiz , i was just planning to leave for home.. Oh and there, just then i realize i had to pay my mobile bill.(as usual, i postponed it to the last day and it was today-or-outgoing cut kinda scenario!!!) So the plan changed and i called up ma friend, ma bhai GLENN Fernandes saying i'll be late and explained the scene at hand! ( for starters, glenn and me go back a long way since the college days , he's a brother and ma best bud!) He being a shweto popped the idea of goin together. Great i thought: pay the bill , Go to the beach restaurant, Have a great dinner and get back home... Mid week bash!!!. So here we go our heros set out for a nice lil fun evening!!!....

28th Feb,2008 9:00PM: After puffing out some crazy bucks on the auto wala ANNAS and cursing them to the core, we finally paid the bill and got out... kool enough for a walk to the beach i thought!.. So we set out to the beach and subsequent dinner.

28th Feb,2008 10:00PM: We ordered our fav food ( getting theek thaak khana in chennai is a task in it self u c!) and time passofied there....The time went by quick and even before realizing, we were done with the sumptuous meal. Happy and content that the cooking and cleaning chores could be done without @ home for that day ( YES - we cooked!!) we set out to home..

28th Feb,2008 11:00PM: Considering that we lived far off from the city, it took 1 long hour almost to reach our place.Not withstandig the clutter and the moanings of the rickety auto we kept talking and whaling away our time. Every thing seemed fine till then....the script was pretty normal and mudane. We were about a Kilometer away fron our drop and suddenly...

THUD!! DHAD !!! before we realized, the auto leapt in the air and somersaulted. We were gyrating inside the auto like some grains rotating in a mixer-grinder! bodies crashing and heads bumping inside it, the auto came crashing down head first and collapsed taking us with it. The impact rattled the metal chunk, that we got stuck inside the auto and it kept bumping and dragging on the road . Unable to free ourselves , my head kept bumping on the road like a tennis ball. After about dragging for 10 feet or so, the auto; now a mere shattered metal chunk came to a screeching halt!! The momentum threw us out and i came crashed out onto the road. A lorry jus zoomed past me just a second after i jolted out from the road. Thank heavens! If it had come a second before, i'd have been cut into pieces!!!!!!
I got up and checked for glen : He was there sitting on the road brusied legs and hands bleeding like hell.!! looking at him, i could not even asses the damage done to maself as the only thing that stuck me was taking him to the hospital. So here i was doing a resuce act( YES- there were bloody 50 people surrounding us and just WATCHING TAMASHA!) . Limping and crawling with gelnn on one shoulder, i reached the hospital finally!( we took another auto, and the that B*****d was bargaining at that time too!! heck !). We reached the hospital and right then, i collapsed!!

The Next time i regain my senses, i see glenn beside me, hads platered and legs being attended to. I was told that i had internal injuries on the head chest and elbow. I could sense that coz it was paining like hell and there was no sign of a bruise!... A ct-scan of head and an x-ray were suggested--JUST TO MAKE SURE NOTHING IS WRONG!.. i denied saying if anything looked wrong i'd come back the next day! The onli calming effect for me was the decleration from the doc saying glenn had no major injuries except bruises on the hand. I sighed in relief, for atleast he was ok.

Finally with the help of a couple of friends, we returned home: An end to the dreadful day!.


29th Feb,2008 1:00AM (wee hours): Unable to sleep and tired of moaning withn pain, i and glen started talking, reflecting on the incident that had occured . We reflected on our time spent in college and the good, bad and ugly situations we faced together. We called up another friend of ours back in HYD to give him the flash news : spoke to him and then finally when every ounce of energy had saturated, we fell asleep!!

Okay.... agreed that was one helluva incident, but why glorify the gory day ??? Well there were some tremendous lessons learnt on that day !

(1) You are alloted credit balance of some definite days to live and come what may u are destined to live them completly!( It would have taken just that second for the lorry to cut me apart- BUT NO I WAS DESTINED TO LIVE!)

(2) Come what may, whatever happens the life goes on: If u are down pick urself up and start moving. Help URSELF.

(3) You never know when u'll get a call, so LIVE HAPPY TILL YOU'r ALIVE!

(4)If you are happy and hale today its coz of evry good deed you might have done some where to some one. Good wishes do save you!

(5) The last and most important * Never go in an auto, When the driver is inebriated!- NEVER NEVER! ( we only found that out when it all happened!)

Awrite 5.59 now!! gotta crash( No..not dat..SLEEP!) .....

take care and god bles!!

P.S : For those of you wondering how many days did it took for me to be alright .Well it took almost 3 weeks to be fine. And yea even today i have a bump and a cut on ma head!!!!!


Peace
rammy

Lost and Found!

I've been rambling quite a lot on the blogosphere about how life's treating me like hell, how its givin me nothin to smile about and be happy.In shot- I was feeling LOST. Lemme tell you the feeling was quite mutual ; Life too has been telling me the same. It was telling me- gimme a chance, show faith and i'll show you how you can be happy. Alas! i couldnt figure out how ....! But thank heavens i knew it today :)

Small story- hope u find it nice :) .It so happened on this friday afternoon, i recieved a mail in the office about a cricket tournament to be held on the weekend. Inspite of being a cricket maniac , i never gave it a thought giving myself a reasons that were pretty silly.
1) Its been over 3 years since i even touched the cricket ball and bat! ( wot am i gonna play!)
2) The venue is too far ( read GOLKONDA FORT!)
3) I'm already tired and dont wanna waste my weekend travelling.

Citing these nonexistant reasons, i comforted myself and carried on with my business. The mind though was thinking about the match! A frnd of mine- my team mate, rushed to me telling me about the same mail. I gave him a sly smile and told " Na bhai- the venue is too far.. i cant come so early"- lame..! It was here that it all started. This very gud bhai of mine Mr Shanmukh persuaded me to enroll myself and come to the match. After much deliberation and dilemma, i gave in my name reluctantly though. A team meeting followed for the selection and i was chosen as the captain- wow i thought!! pretty excited i went back with a grin on my till-now-frowny-face ( after all, i was playing something i always loved and am absolutely mad about!)

Getting up at 5.00 AM on a saturday morning is not my style, Yet i did it yesterday..reason the game started at 8.00 and i had to travel long. All throught the travel i kept going back to my school days when playing cricket was a lifeline. By the time i reached the venue, i had pretty much a clear vision of what-to-do. Since we were short of a few players, we got some from other projects. Finally - a team of 11 and ready to go!

First the qualifiers- and we beat the opponents thrashing them down!!! AWESOME i thought!! ( going into it, we were pretty much underdogs, no practise no grt players. OUR win was the last thing ppl thought!).. This raised our excitement and enthu by leaps and bounds. Personally, i was elated; not for the result, but for the effort- the pleasure of doing some thing i love MY PASSION . They say when you give 100%, you sleep well that night, and yes i did sleep well and happy ( even with bruised hands and crackled body!) . Then today we went into the semis and put up an exemplary performance. The entire bunch gave it all(a frnd got hit too :( ). Thanks to some irreasonable umpiring and stupid sportsman ship of the opponents ( i know its a cliche- but it happend) the result was not in our favour. Dosent matter we said to ourselves, We enjoyed the process of being in the team, fighting it out and at the end of it all feeling 100% happy of ourselves!
A great weekend in all ways :)
So what lost and found you may ask- Well, what i lost till yesterday was my happiness, my jolly spirit , my positivity and my PASSION. today though i've all of them back and some few very good and genuine new friends :). I've found out i can be what i was before. I found out its only me who can make my self better and happy. I've found that it was not just any other cricket match . It made me realise that you can be happy if decide to be, you can be content if you believe in yourself. Most of all It was a saviour of my damping spirit!

I've found MYSELF back! added with new found enthusiam and a revived vigour!

Lessons learnt : Follow ur heart and purse you passions. You are bound to be happy and content if you wish to be. !

Looking foward for a grt week ahead and some serious fun.
LIFE ROCKS!!

Bad brusies and swollen body- gotta take rest now....bye for now!!

cheers and peace!
rammy

9.15 Ki Last Local

Scene 1:
It was turning out to be just another day at the office. Uneventful and lazy, things i've almost gotten used to now. My day was coming to an end,well a night really. Like many other projects mine too is on a shi(f)t basis. So here i am working up 5.30PM to 1.30 AM every day!! ... Not great work hours!!who cares anyways: i get paid so-called-EXTRA for the shifts!! The only consolation for working up late into the day is that i get a dedicated cab (more so coz derz no one in my route!!).. And here at 8.30 i recieve a mail from my cab provider which creates a ruffle amongst the team . Goes as follows :
"This is to inform you all today late night cabs are suspended due to the shortage of the vehicles . So request you to all please make your own arrangements.If there are any updates we will inform to you all tomorrow ."
Short and pretty disgusting. Theres now a mini ruccus thats broken out, i frantically check any possible "own" arrangements from the far end of the city(read gacchibowli!!) to my haven. After some talking with my team folks and a verbal assualt with the cab providers, i realise that the only transporation available now is the 9.15 ki LAST LOCAL . My other team mate agress to stay till i reach home and log-on from home. Thank fully, i have a friend who travels by the same train everyday. And thus we set off to catch the last thing up !

Scene 2 :
We reach the station just on time. Huffing and puffing we reach the platform just to realise that the train is later by 15 minutes. Holla!! just what i could have done without. Not knowing how to kill the time, we start talking and reach all topics starting from the "Mazakali" song from Dilli 6( anyone who havent heard the album- go for it!!! it rocks!) to obama's inaugral speech. All the while there was only one thing in my mind-"REACH HOME FAST and START WORKING".
Finally!! the train is on -- just a half-hour late!!! Thankfully my friend kept me engrossed in some worthy converstion through the journey. God bless him for reminding me about the Bigger Picture and not getting frustrated for these trifle hiccups. An animated discussion followed on the possible ways to control the mind and stay focussed helped me come back to normalcy. A few stops later comes my buddy's stop and he bids adieu for the day. to beat the bore of being alone, i plug in ma earphones and croon to the AR Rahman's newest creation!... the anxiety creeps in inevitablity though!

Scene 3: The clock ticks 11.00 already. I was supposed to be back at home and on the work by now!! all thanks to the train service!! Now then, i head out the station in a gust of hurry, anger and rush kicking away some cans lying out knocking people off. My next is to get and auto and drop off at home. It takes me another 20 mins to do so! here i am at home, a total 50 mins late than the agreed time!! I immediately call my team mate and tell that i'll do the rest of the work from now!.

Scene 4: After the neccesary refuelling of energy and shower, i start work.....FINALLY!!! after a near 2.5 hrs of travel, i get back to work! I start "REFRESHING" for any tickets!!! Oh yeahh i gotta just REFRESH till 1.30 now!!! and yeah dats wot i've being doing lately!!!

Wot a day!! Just another day at work!!
Reminds me of the song from "Bodhi Tree" !!!!( u know which one!!)

Awrite now... enough of moaning !! dats da way it is boy!! 9.15 local and my refreshing!!


Peace
rammy

YES WE CAN!!

When the light is gone,
When the Storm is on,
The times when people cry,
The dreams now far and dry,
There will be a man, a force,
Who says YES WE CAN! Change we want and that we can!

When the trauma spikes,
The copters and their strikes,
Times when dust hits the skies,
A force a man, who says,
Oh YES WE CAN! Change we can and We Will!

Times when I and YOU are all we know,
Seeds of hatred are all we sow,
Times when denial defiance and demolition rule,
Times when morals drool,
There is always a man who says
Oh Yes WE CAN and WE WILL!!

Young ones turned whale,
When souls are up for sale,
Times of divided east and west,
Cold north and troubled south,
There is always a man who says
Oh Yes WE CAN and WE WILL!!

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO TAKES THE CALL
He says YES I CAN AND I AM!!!!
He says YES I CAN AND I HAVE!!!!

-Rammy

Hollow Hyms!

rumblings of a bruised soul!!

This poem is dedicated to all those souls who are grilled by the grueling life ...and suffered the aftermath of destruction.....Hope their lives turn into something worthwhile....


Life's goin on...
gotta make it a song...
charred in the brewing screams...
are the morning dreams...
dreams: they'r now paupers....
when the sun appears!!...

All we do is sing a Hollow HYM!!!

hopes being torn...
from the time we'r born...
Vauge it may be ...
coz i aint good at art...
I dream of a better day...
coz i live in a disarray....

All we do is sing a Hollow HYM!!!

Hope of life has gone too far...
in the hands of too many czars...
this aint any thing new...
every human does it so...
for every omen we'd


All we do is sing a Hollow HYM!!!


Every days's a new challenge....
standing up to every day carnage...
of hues and crys - far and near....
in the ages bygone ...
ther's always a grim forgone...

All we do is sing a Hollow HYM!!!


at every wake of something new...
ther's always a demolition due...
but its so damn true ....
we're gonna loose dat too...

All we do is sing a Hollow HYM!!!


Oblivious of ourselves ..
tucked in wid fear....
we'd go to the prayer....
wishin to cross da final frontier....
wake up dear'o'dear...
get ur soul to be clear.....
DOOMS DAY IS ALMOST THERE.....
ITS NOW OR NEVER......


peace and hope!!
rammy